I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim  - Frida Kahlo

Not only humankind, but all living beings on Earth, from the smallest to the largest, seek pleasure and strive to avoid pain. It is for the sake of happiness that we seek financial prosperity, dream of living in a beautiful home with a lovely garden, and long for a life partner who brings us love, joy, and companionship. In pursuit of happiness, we fall in love, marry, raise children, build businesses, earn money, accumulate possessions, and develop our talents, skills, and interests. Much of what we do in life is driven by the desire to be happy. Yet, despite all our efforts, something often seems to be missing. We begin to crave more, believing that the next achievement or possession will finally bring us lasting fulfillment. We grow dissatisfied with our homes and long for something bigger and more beautiful. We become discontented with our relationships and begin searching for someone new. Caught in this endless pursuit, we experience disappointment, restlessness, and frustration, often finding ourselves surrounded by unfulfilled desires rather than the happiness we had hoped to achieve. True happiness does not mean having a sky without storms, a road without accidents, a job without challenges, or a relationship without disappointments. Life will always bring difficulties, uncertainties, and moments of pain. Happiness does not come from eliminating every obstacle or making everything around us perfect. Rather, it begins with self-reflection, self-awareness, and the maturity to recognize when change is needed. It begins when we have the courage to look within ourselves and say, “If I wish to live a happier and more fulfilling life, I must be willing to change.”

Sadness

The opposite of happiness is sadness, a quiet and sometimes overwhelming emotion that can slowly fill our hearts and make even the simplest things feel difficult. It may arise from losing someone we love, experiencing disappointment, feeling lonely, or carrying too many worries in our minds. When we feel sad, we may prefer to remain silent and keep our emotions to ourselves. Through sadness, we learn to appreciate happiness, understand ourselves better, and develop emotional strength. Sadness is a basic human emotion characterized by unhappiness, sorrow, and a low mood. It is a normal response to loss, disappointment, or challenging life experiences. Some common causes of sadness include:

• The death or illness of a loved one

• Rejection or the end of a relationship

• Unfulfilled expectations or missed opportunities

• Major life changes and transitions

• Loneliness, stress, or personal struggles

Sadness can affect both our minds and bodies in different ways. It may cause crying, tiredness, a lack of motivation, and a negative outlook on life. We may lose our appetite, experience physical aches and pains, or struggle to get enough sleep. Some people may feel hopeless, discouraged, or emotionally exhausted. Others may experience anger towards themselves, other people, or the world around them. Feelings of guilt and difficulty concentrating may also occur. Although sadness can make everyday life challenging, recognizing and accepting these feelings is an important step toward healing.

Happiness, Joy, Pleasure and Fulfilment

Happiness is a positive and meaningful emotional state that includes feelings of contentment and satisfaction. It can come from achieving personal goals, spending time with loved ones, helping others, or enjoying simple everyday experiences. Happiness does not mean that life is always perfect; rather, it often comes from appreciating what we have and finding beauty in the present moment. Happiness plays an important role in our overall well-being and quality of life. People who experience greater happiness often enjoy better physical and mental health, stronger relationships, and a greater ability to cope with challenges. Ultimately, happiness is not only about experiencing joyful moments but also about appreciating life, building meaningful connections, and finding peace in everyday experiences.

Joy is a beautiful feeling that brings warmth, light, and meaning into our lives. It fills us with energy and passion, lifting our spirits and brightening the world around us. Joy can be found in spending time with loved ones, pursuing activities we enjoy, accomplishing goals we have worked hard to achieve, or simply appreciating the beauty that surrounds us. Joy can exist even in life’s simplest moments, a heartfelt laugh with a friend, a breathtaking sunset, or the soothing melody of a favorite song. Joy can arise from within, even in the quiet moments when nothing extraordinary is happening.

Joy is Not the Same as Pleasure. The difference lies in where each comes from and how we experience it.

Pleasure is often connected to the enjoyment we experience through our five senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. It is the feeling we get when something feels good to our senses, body, or mind. Pleasure often arises from satisfying a desire or meeting a need. For example, eating your favorite food, listening to a song you love, receiving compliments, or taking a warm bath after a long day can all bring pleasure. Pleasure is often immediate and temporary, fading once the experience has passed. Joy, on the other hand, is a deeper, sweeter sense of happiness and aliveness. It is an inner feeling that does not always depend on external circumstances or pleasurable experiences. Joy can arise from within, even in the quiet moments when nothing extraordinary is happening. While pleasure often comes from something we experience, joy can exist simply in the way we feel and connect with life.

Fulfilment is the feeling of happiness and satisfaction that comes from living a meaningful and purposeful life. It can be achieved by reaching personal goals, helping others, developing strong relationships, or taking part in activities we enjoy. Fulfilment is not about having everything we desire but rather appreciating what we have and being proud of the person we are becoming. Even small achievements can bring a sense of fulfilment by reminding us that our hard work and efforts matter. By staying true to our values and focusing on what is most important to us, we can find greater peace, happiness, and fulfilment in life.

Cultivating Happiness from Within

To cultivate happiness, we must first look within ourselves and recognize what may be disturbing our peace or disconnecting us from our natural joy. It could be our expectations of how things should be, negative thoughts about ourselves, boredom, anxiety, or the habit of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Sometimes, our unhappiness may be triggered by something as minor as not finding a parking space or having a dinner that didn’t turn out as expected. At other times, it may stem from a major life crisis. Whatever the cause, the first step toward finding happiness is to become aware of what is happening within us. Our experiences of happiness and sadness are deeply influenced by our thoughts, perceptions, and inner state. Although we cannot always control what happens around us, we can learn to change how we respond to it.

The first step is to step out of our heads and reconnect with life. Rather than allowing our thoughts to trap us in cycles of worry, negativity, and regret, we can take meaningful steps to restore our joy and emotional well-being. Here are some simple ways to begin:

• Reconnect with nature. Spend time outdoors, look at the open sky, breathe fresh air, and enjoy the warmth of sunlight.

• Listen to uplifting music or dance. Choose music that energizes your spirit and lifts your mood rather than music that deepens feelings of sadness or stress.

• Laugh and socialize. Spend quality time with close friends and people who bring warmth, laughter, and positivity into your life.

• Set healthy boundaries. Limit exposure to persistently negative influences and spend more time with people who encourage and support you.

• Change the questions you ask yourself. Instead of repeatedly saying, “Why do I feel so bad today?” ask, “What can I do right now to feel a little better?”

• Be active and exercise regularly. Physical movement can help release tension, improve your mood, and restore your energy.

• Talk to someone you trust. Share your thoughts and feelings instead of keeping everything bottled up inside.

• Avoid isolation. Even when you don’t feel like socializing, try to maintain some connection with others. A simple conversation or a short walk with a friend can make a difference.

Happiness does not mean that we will never experience sadness, anxiety, disappointment, or pain. It means learning to recognize these feelings without allowing them to define our entire experience of life. By becoming aware of our thoughts, nurturing our bodies, connecting with others, and engaging in activities that bring us joy, we can create more space for happiness within ourselves.

WHAT IS HAPPINESS

• To get started, step away from your office or home and find a place where stress is minimal.

• Take a pen and paper and write down your thoughts.

• Start by listening to the audio session, then watch the short video(s).

PREPARATION

GUIDED SESSION

Use headphones for optimal sound

Happiness Handbook of Individual Differences in Social Behavior. M. Leary et.al. Guilford Press. P. 147-160. 2009.

Happiness and Health. Andrew Steptoe. Annual Review of Public Health. V. 40:339-359. 2019.

Happiness. Handbook of Emotions. Averill, J. R. et.al. The Guilford Press. P. 617–629. 1993.

Correlates of avowed happiness. Wilson, Warner R. Psychological Bulletin, 67(4), 294–306. 1967.

A program to increase happiness. Fordyce, Michael W. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 30(4), 483–498. 1983.

PUBLISHED RESEARCH