RADIATE SELF-WORTH
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt
Self-esteem is how you see, value, and feel about yourself. It is a subjective and positive appraisal of who you are. Your sense of self-worth is shaped by the attitude you hold toward yourself, and that internal attitude influences how you show up in the world. At its core, self-worth is rooted in the belief that you deserve respect and acceptance, while also recognizing and embracing both your strengths and your weaknesses. Self-worth is not the same as confidence in your abilities. You can have a strong sense of self-worth while having low confidence in certain areas of your life, whether that involves sports, academics, public speaking, or learning a new language. You do not need to feel confident in everything you do to have a healthy sense of self-worth. Everyone has areas where they struggle and others where they excel. You might be an exceptional heart surgeon and a terrible cook. People with a strong sense of self-worth tend to carry themselves with a quiet sense of confidence and presence. They stand upright, listen attentively, communicate clearly, and speak with a voice that conveys energy and conviction. They are present in the moment, grounded in themselves, and comfortable taking up space. Their body language reflects a powerful inner belief.
Low Self-Worth
Low self-worth, often expressed as low self-esteem, and it is characterized by feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and a persistent sense that we are not good enough. Low self-esteem can negatively influence the way we view ourselves, other people, our work, money, relationships, life, and even God. Unfortunately, many of us go through life carrying a deep conviction that we are unworthy, impure, inadequate, or somehow a failure. People struggling with low self-worth may tend to think negatively about themselves and their circumstances. They may experience feelings of sadness, discouragement, or even depression, and may struggle with shyness or insecurity. They can also become overly dependent on others for validation and acceptance. In relationships, low self-worth can make a person more vulnerable to being pushed around, ignored, taken advantage of, or subjected to verbal abuse. When we do not recognize our own value, we may tolerate treatment that does not reflect the dignity and respect we deserve.
Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the most damaging ways we can undermine our self-worth is by constantly comparing ourselves to others. Here are some common ways we tend to measure our worth against those around us:
Physical appearance: How attractive, fit, youthful, tall, thin, muscular, or stylish we believe we are compared with others.
Financial status: Income, savings, investments, possessions, cars, homes, neighborhoods, vacations, and perceived lifestyle.
Job and career: Job title, prestige, salary, promotions, professional recognition, or the belief that certain careers are more valuable than others.
Competencies and abilities: Athletic ability, intelligence, creativity, communication skills, academic achievement, technical skills, and other talents.
Relationships: Whether we have a partner, the quality of our marriage, friendships, family relationships, or how socially popular we are.
Education and accomplishments: Degrees, grades, awards, certifications, publications, achievements, and recognition.
Lifestyle: Travel, social activities, hobbies, health habits, clothing, possessions, and how exciting or successful our life appears.
Parenting and family: How our children behave or perform, family stability, parenting skills, and comparisons with other families.
Social status and popularity: Number of friends, invitations, social influence, followers, likes, or our perceived standing within a group.
Age and life milestones: Comparing when we married, bought a home, had children, established a career, retired, or achieved other milestones.
Personal growth: How disciplined, confident, spiritual, emotionally mature, productive, or self-aware we believe we are compared with others.
You Are Not Your Job
Who you are should never be defined solely by what you do for a living. Jobs can change. Careers can end. Titles can come and go. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your work, finding purpose in it, or allowing it to shape a part of who you are. The danger comes when your job becomes your entire identity.
You are so much more than your career. You are your values, your relationships, your character, your experiences, your passions, your growth, and the person you are when no title is attached to your name. Your job is something you do. It is not who you are.
Impact of Relationships on Self-Worth
Your self-worth should not rise, and fall based on the status of your relationship or how someone else feels about you. It’s natural to feel encouraged and valued when someone loves, appreciates, and affirms you. But your sense of self should come from within. You should be able to respect yourself, appreciate who you are, and feel confident in your worth whether you are in a relationship or standing on your own. Another person’s feelings should never define you, and it should never determine your value as a person. When our self-worth is low, we may find ourselves constantly seeking approval, trying to please others, or giving more than we should in hopes of receiving love and appreciation in return. When that affirmation doesn’t come, we can feel rejected, disappointed, or even used. And when someone doesn’t approve of us, it can be easy to internalize their opinion and begin questioning our own worth. But someone’s inability to see, appreciate, or value you does not make you less valuable. Your worth is not something another person gives you, and it is not something they can take away.
What Should Self-Worth be Based On
Our self-esteem and self-worth should never be defined by our status in society, how much money we make, the possessions we own, or the car we drive. True inner worth comes from within, from what we believe about ourselves, independent of external circumstances. Everything external can be taken away from us: our job, home, relationships, possessions, and even our health. But there are things that cannot be taken away so easily, our knowledge, skills, character, values, virtues, and experiences. Genuine self-worth comes from knowing, understanding, and accepting yourself. It is recognizing your inherent value as a person, regardless of your accomplishments, failures, wealth, status, or what others think of you. Your worth is not determined by what you have, what you achieve, or how others perceive you. It comes from who you are at your core, and that is something no external circumstance can define or take away.
Believing in Yourself
When we believe in ourselves, it changes everything. It strengthens our plans and improves the decisions we make about our relationships, finances, careers, and fitness. Happiness, fitness, and success all begin with self-belief. Believing in ourselves and our abilities is the foundation for achieving anything we set our minds to.
It doesn’t matter how much knowledge or how many skills we possess if we don’t believe in ourselves. Without self-belief, even our greatest strengths can remain untapped. When we lack confidence in ourselves, we give others the power to bring us down and convince us that we never had that power in the first place.
People who are successful in life focus on their strengths and positive qualities. In doing so, they build a deep sense of self-confidence that naturally shines through in everything they do. They don’t allow negative circumstances or past mistakes to define them. Like a warrior entering the battlefield, they move forward fearlessly, not because they are undefeated, but because they believe in themselves and in the principles and values they stand for. Believe in yourself. Trust your abilities. Stand firmly in your values. When you do, you become stronger than the circumstances around you.
WHAT IS SELF-WORTH
To get started, step away from your office or home and find a place where stress is minimal.
Take a pen and paper and write down your thoughts.
Start by listening to the audio session, then watch the short video(s).
PREPARATION
GUIDED SESSION
Use headphones for optimal sound
Muhammad Ali, a global cultural icon widely known by the nickname “The Greatest,” is often regarded as the greatest heavyweight boxer of all time. Born Cassius Clay in Louisville, Kentucky, through training and believing in himself, the young boy became known for his incredible speed, confidence, and unique boxing style. He won the world heavyweight championship three times and earned a gold medal at the 1960 Olympics. Ali was also known for speaking out about his beliefs and standing up for causes he cared about. He changed his name to Muhammad Ali and became an important figure in the civil rights movement. Even after retiring from boxing, he continued to inspire people around the world through his courage, personality, and humanitarian work. His legacy continues to influence sports and society.
Even birds know when to set healthy boundaries
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Assessing self-esteem. Heatherton, Todd F. et.al. Positive psychological assessment. American Psychological Association. P. 219–233. 2003.
The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory. Mark R. Leary et.al. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology. V. 32. P. 1-62. 2000.
Why Do People Need Self-Esteem? A Theoretical and Empirical Review. Pyszczynski, Tom et.al. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 435–468. 2004.
Self-Esteem and Identities. Jan E. Stets et.al. Sociological Perspectives. V. 57, Issue 4. 2014.